Comic Con 2009 – Curse of the Twilight Mom

by · July 23, 2009


Apparently the infestation is far worse than originally thought.

This is a report from the show by one of my good friends, whom I will codename ‘Megan’:
“It’s all true. And the worst part is that they’re not -just- at the Exhibit Hall, but they’re all over the streets of downtown SD. If they’re not waiting in a line 4 blocks long, they’re on their way to the 2 different lines forming in downtown for god knows what.

You know that replica/toy company that had the Gears Lancer last year? Their booth has 3 cases, not shelves…CASES devoted to Twilight “replicas”.

That’s when I threw up my hands in defeat and called it a night.”

And another report from an Agent we will call: ‘DC

“Yes, this is a problem. I took my daughter to the midnight DVD-release event and took note of the grown women dressed in Twilight gear. I found it creepy and sad and I kept my distance. I am not one of you and I refuse to read a single word of the book!”

Scary stuff there people. This menace is worse than originally thought. How can we stop this threat to the planet before it spreads even further?? Stay tuned for more updates in the war against the Twiglets!
Original Post

So I am not at Comic Con 09 in San Diego, and that sucks hugely as I am a nerd and I want to see the cool panels, buy geektastic toys and check out the games.

However the feeling of suck is tempered somewhat by the news trickling my way via friends in SD, complaining of a menace so creepy and vile that I am feeling much safer back in my non air-conditioned pad in Los Angeles.

That menace? The Twilight Mom…

It seems that the Disney panel this morning, which should have been all about geekgasms such as Tron: Legacy, also featured the latest installment of the god awful Twilight series. (Note from now on in, I will be calling it TWIGLET in honor of the horrible British snack food that tastes like ass).

So what does a Twiglet Mom do? Why are they so vile? Well reports getting back to me say that these harridans dominated the Disney Panel, pushing and shoving and bullying their way to the front of the hall just so they and their devil spawn brats can dribble over the man with the hair – Robert Pattinson (who is probably a nice enough chap, got nothing against him or the cast of these films, they are doing their jobs and cannot be blamed for the fans).

These sows and their brood have no place at Comic-Con in my opinion. Neither does this series, which is at best a poor mans ‘Angel’ and at worst a steaming pile of stinking horseshit pap. The literary and movie equivalent of the JonASS Brothers.

I feel sorry for the Comic-Con regulars and true fans of the genres, for years they have watched their convention become overrun with pop culture crap and now a lot of them probably missed out on the Tron goodness because the hall was full of tween girls and bitchy moms, and most of those moms probably spend every night flicking the bean to deluded fantasies involving Robert Pattinson and his multi-directional hair.

So to recap:
Twiglet – Total Shite.
Tweens – Lock em in a basement till they are old enough to get drafted.
Twiglet Moms – Should be spayed and locked in pens.
The fact that they are at CC09 and I am not – Total shite and I am having a big bitch about it!

Filed Under: Blog

Add a Comment