Review: Battlestar Galactica

by · November 6, 2007

Format: PC & 360 (Live Arcade)

Release Date: Out now

Price: $10 – $20

So, it’s a top down 2-D shooter, and the missions kick off with the decommissioning of the Galactica, just like in the mini-series. Out of nowhere, the Cylons attack and you have to fend them off in an old Mark 2 Viper while the Galactica ramps up its FTL drive.

From there, you run escort missions, stealth missions and infiltration missions using the various ships at your disposal.

This is what publishers blurb has to say about the game:

· Pilot legendary ships and lead your squadron in enormous fast-action multiplayer space combat.

· Enter the Battlestar Galactica™ universe. Sign-up to defend the Galactica, or play as the ruthless Cylons as they seek to remove the human race from existence.

· Single-Player Campaign – Pilot various ships and complete memorable missions from the TV series.

· Multiplayer Game Mode – Play online with 8 players in this relentless space-based action shooter in Domination, Deathmatch and Team Deathmatch modes.

· Legendary Spaceships – Fly 4 Human and 4 Cylon ships from the Viper II to the Heavy Raider, each with unique weapon capabilities.

· Special Weapons – Coordinate attacks with an arsenal of destructive weapons including the missiles, guns and more.

· Defensive Maneuvers – Avoid annihilation with the barrel roll, quick turnabouts and other aerial moves.

Here is what the blurb SHOULD have said:

· Waste your hard earned cash on a piss poor pile of shit that we banged out to cash in on a hot license.

· Marvel at really shit graphics that take your 360 and PC back to the mid 1990’s

· Experience the shock of stone age gameplay and be amazed at the repetitiveness of each mission.

· Wonder if NBC Universal has any clue that shite like this will only damage the value of their brand!

· Pray to god that the Activision / Blizzard merger goes through, so that whichever moron at Sierra who okayed this steaming dollop of fetid shit gets fired and never gets to inflict their decisions on us again.

That’s right – this game stinks. If you buy it then you are either a moron or a masochist.

Verdict: Annoyingly, shockingly, insultingly atrocious. Score: 1 /10 (The one is for the use of the words ‘Battlestar Galactica’)

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