The Sims 2: Bon voyage.

Format: PC

On Sale: Now

Price: Probably too much for an expansion pack

This is the 6^th expansion pack for the Sims 2, even though it feels like the 60^th. Following on from Pets, Nightlife, Church, Gloryhole and whatever else they have out there, Sims 2: Bon Voyage allows you to take your little sim and its family on the vacation of their dreams.

I know, aintcha excited? I for one cannot contain my anticipation......

The game comes with 3 premade vacation destinations, Three Lakes (a forest resort,) Takemizu Village (the Far East) and Twikkii Island (a beach resort). Each destination has its own greeting and dance that Sims can learn. You also get the ability to create custom destinations, buy vacation homes etc.

Your sim will meet new characters at the various destinations, including firwalkers, tikki girls and ninjas. Your sim might even get to see local legends like Bigfoot. Unfortunately, I never got to see Bigfoot chase my sim and rip the little wanker into a million pieces. Oh well, maybe they sill let that happen in the next expansion....

Each area has lots of different hotels to choose from, ranging from cheap to deluxe. Obviously, the more cash you drop on a hotel, the higher quality the place is with more activities on offer, as well as better standards of room service so your sim can be fed and watered regularly.

Once you are checked in, you can explore the local area, go shopping, hit a bar or even look for hidden treasure in a pirate ship. All of these things keep your sims happy, and can lead to finding cool items and new characters to interact with.

There are tours that Sims can go on. Random chance cards can be answered which determine the outcome of the tour.

Sims can now take photographs and get a photo album. This means after your sim goes home, he/she/they can look back at their albums and sigh happily.

If your sims had a great time on their vacation, they'll be able to choose certain bonuses to their abilities on returning home, such as increased productivity at work, faster skill learning, or an additional slot for their immediate "wants"—which allows their short term goals to be fulfilled and keeps them even happier.

To me, this seems like too much hard work. The way I look at it is that if I don’t get to go on a swanky vacation and meet ninjas, then my sims cant either!

This is at the end of the day – more sims, it gives you more locations, more characters, more things to collect and more ways to keep the little bastards happy. If you love the sims and like nothing better than spending hours planning and living out a virtual life in this game, then get this expansion pack. What am I saying - you probably pre-ordered it and are already boring friends and family with a slideshow of Sim vacation snaps.

Verdict: Annoying

Score: 6/10

Crash of the Titans

Format: Every frigging one - I looked at the 360 version.

Release Date: Its out now

Price: $30 - $50 depending on format.

The player controls Crash Bandicoot, who must rescue his sister, stop Cortex's Doominator, and save Wumpa Island. The first goal given to the player is to rescue Aku Aku who acts as the player's tutor, shield, and skateboard(??). From there, the main goal of each level is to complete fights against large groups of enemies or simply progress through the level.

Each episode is broken up by a simple mini-game arena, where Crash has to accomplish a certain task in a set amount of time. The task usually consists of collecting a sufficient quantity of mojo, hijacking an enemy animal to snipe bombs, or simply defeating a select number of enemies.

At the end of a level, the player will earn a voodoo doll rank of either bronze, silver, or gold. This can be improved by fulfilling all the sub quests in the level.

When Crash defeats enemies or destroys objects, they release a magical substance known as Mojo for Crash to collect. When Crash collects enough Mojo, he will earn either an ability upgrade or a new move, such as the Norris Roundhouse or the Triple Dragon. He does, however, still have his trademark Tornado Spin as part of his arsenal.

While the small minions require only a single combo for Crash to defeat, the larger enemies, known as "Titans", require a little more effort. Unlike the smaller enemies, the Titans possess a star meter over their heads, which indicates how close a Titan is to being stunned. The star meter will rise when a Titan takes damage. When the star meter is full, the Titan will be stunned, and will be susceptible to "jacking". And no, perverts, it does not mean he turns into a US senator in an airport bathroom!

When Crash jacks a Titan, he will mount the creature, putting it under his control with the aid of Aku Aku. In this state, the player will take control of the Titan, who has a similar moveset to Crash, with the exception of some Titans, who shoot projectiles instead. Along with a longer health meter, the Titan also possesses a purple Titan Meter. When this meter is full, the Titan is able to unleash a unique special attack.

So, you get to stun things, jack them, mount them and have access to their long purple titan meter???? This is a KIDS game for gods sake! Dam those pervy Canadians at Radical for trying to corrupt the youth of America with their innuendo driven humor!

This is a fun game for younger gamers, and innuendo aside, it would make a great gift for a little bother or sister. Older gamers will get bored pretty quickly, and not even the previously mentioned double meanings can keep a more demanding gamer hooked for more than an hour as the game gets repetitive, and can be annoying due to the aiming convention that dos not allow you to cycle through targets. This is especially painful during the timed bonus levels, when you find yourself blasting the wrong thing time and time again, while the timer counts down and you lose the level.

Verdict: Annoyingly good for younger gamers only

Score: 7 /10